you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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