He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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