Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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