doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
