dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
