I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
