He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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