Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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