Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
