I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
