Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
i think my cat just said my name.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
