So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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