She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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