Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
