on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
