walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
