My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize