Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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