Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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