Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I have fence marks all over my body
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
