well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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