You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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