Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
