you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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