Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
