This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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