Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
