Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
