R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
