You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He uses pillows to masturbate.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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