"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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