Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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