did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
