I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
