I am in a vortex of obligation.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
