I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
