Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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