windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
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No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
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I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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