And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you traded sex for a burrito?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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