i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
