bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
