I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
