There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
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