Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize