I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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