I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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