Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
