i think my tv is drunk
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
