How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
