no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
