after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
