I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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