He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him