I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins