Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
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Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.