I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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