He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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