That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
