thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
