we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
