As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
