Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
