I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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