i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
