Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
