I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize