is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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