he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize