am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
